5 things you should stop doing
Introduction
We have been accustomed since childhood to carry out a sort of constant "remediation" of certain aspects of ourselves and of the people dear to us that we consider unacceptable. This "reclamation" consists in eliminating certain disturbing factors from our consciousness without realizing that by confining them to the basement of our being, they will come to light transformed into severe judges. For example, as children we are willing to think that if we are wronged, that person did it for our good. Similarly, we believed that if someone hurt us by venting their frustration on us, deep down, we deserved it. In carrying out this completely unconscious reclamation, we create fragments of ourselves that behave like severe judges.
We usually say phrases like this: "People always have an ulterior motive, I have to be careful… Better to be alone than to be a target for the malice of others." Yet we say the most dangerous words to ourselves, when we look in the mirror and we say to ourselves: "I'm like that", "I'll never make it", "I'm not up to it". We all do it when we say that we are not destined for a fulfilling life, for a job that does not only serve to guarantee a salary, for friends, for love…
1. Stop not accepting yourself
Too often we turn our attention to those aspects of ourselves that we don't like, focusing on what we would like to change. Spending all your time thinking about what you don't like or what happened in the past prevents you from focusing on the present. Consciously decide to learn to love yourself as you are. List your strengths. What are you good at? Highlighting your best characteristics can help you develop them further, distracting you from the idea of "not being worth it".
2. Stop telling yourself what you "should" do
Psychologist Clayton Barbeau has dedicated numerous studies to this topic, highlighting that as human beings we too often tend to tell ourselves what we "should" do, and many times even to the detriment of our values and goals. Your "Shoulds" can cause significant dissatisfaction and pain; eliminating them from your life can help you live better. For example, analyze this statement: "I should graduate." Where does this goal come from? Is it a desire that has solid foundations or is it a goal that you have set yourself?
Think about it, this goal can represent a useful and positive goal or a harmful project; It all depends on the reasons that drive you to achieve it. Deciding not to care about "Shoulds" is not the same as not setting goals. The goal is to set your goals based on what you think is important, not on the desires or dictates of others.
3. Stop being an eternal dreamer
Be realistic. Set yourself achievable goals, in accordance with your talents and abilities. Take one step after another in the direction of stability and security.
4. Stop associating with the wrong people
Life is too short and precious to spend time with people who don't make you feel good. Believe it or not, human beings can become "infected" with emotions as easily as they are infected with colds. When you spend a lot of time with happy, positive people, you're likely to feel just as good. Likewise, by spending a lot of time with people focused on negativity, you run the great risk of being infected by it. Surround yourself with people who care about your well-being, capable of respecting others and enriching their lives.
5. Stop wanting to fill that void that oppresses you
If you have not developed a healthy loving relationship with yourself, you risk always feeling incomplete and alone. To fill this void you desperately seek love. And so you regularly end up in relationships with the wrong people. In an attempt to fill that void that no one from the outside can fill, you become nagging for attention, company, time, approval. Don't you think it's time to stop having the wrong loves? If something is meant to happen, it will happen… at the right time, with the right person and for the right reason. Fall in love because he is the right person and not because you feel alone.
Would you ever plant a seed in tar?
Probably not. You would choose soil that can accommodate and nourish that seed. So why don't you do the same for your mind, your body, your relationships and your dreams? If you want to build healthy and fulfilling relationships, if you want to discover the immensities you carry inside you and learn to fully express who you are, without fears and insecurities, this is the right book for you. You can buy the book clicking here.
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